Wednesday, March 02, 2005

To call it quits

Something close to my heart, and to others hearts as well, is the dream of telling your boss to shove it. To throw off the shackles of servitude and oppression and enter the world of government benefits.

Unlike others I actually don't mind my employer. You could say he and I share an understanding even though we rarely take a common stance on ... anything actually. Anyway it's not that I dislike working for my employer it's just that I need to see some sort of future direction. That's where I find myself now.

In a strange twist I was the sort of person at university who didn't do much and didn't really care about my future including where my career was going to take me. I had television and beer and at the time that was enough.

Call it maturity, call it being drunk through most of university, but I am considering now what I need to do so I can get where I want to go. So I'm now cursed with the decision regarding my future. Do I quit? Can I afford to quit? Is quitting the right thing to do? Will I still have PayTV if I quit? So many questions.

Because I love graphs and was really bored working on this doctor's work who makes too much money and invests said money in shady foreign investments (trust me it sounds more interesting than it is) I decided to graph my questions and then let excel determine my future path. Of course the doctor was still getting charged for my graphing which I justified on the basis that improved direction would result in increased productivity in the future. Anyway, the results spoke for themselves and the big bubble representing personal growth was higher on a relative basis to the bubble of current status quo.

How to be a Receptionist

Our receptionist is talking to herself again.

Don't get me wrong, she is a nice girl, but she is strange and it kind of makes me wonder if I'm fated to work with similar people or if receptionists are all alike. You see she is not the first unstable receptionist I've worked with (Unstable in the sense they are fucking loud and make no sense).

I'm an office worker and accordingly I'm surrounded by receptionists at all times so I can consider myself somewhat of an expert. I have also never dated, slept with or fraternised with any of the receptionists I've worked with so I can also consider myself an objective expert.

Now the receptionists I've had the pleasure to work with (I include desk receptionists, personal assistants and office assistants under the same banner) are often quite different however they generally share several traits of:

Talking to themselves (including reminding themselves of tasks they need to finish); and
Singing to themselves (sometimes a medley of songs); and
Telling a ringing phone that they are coming; and
Trying to make me sing happy birthday; and
Being happy to the point you wonder if drugs are involved.

I haven't included being really hot and often wearing skimpy clothes in the above list as I don't feel those points are something to be discouraged.

So the true reality of the situation can be really appreciated I'll provide some direct examples relating to my current workmate:

She once told the kettle it will get a spanking if it didn't boil soon. This was followed soon after with a threat to give me a spanking if I got up to any mischief (For your information this threat was never followed up).
She once shut my office door and sat down on a chair and asked me with all seriousness if my boss really was in the Masons (he is) and if they really were a cult. I am not kidding when I confirm 'goat' and 'sacrifice' were both words raised in her questions. We worked through that one together.
She continues to say "hello" on my return from the bathroom, lunch or from the printer - every time. Now I don't have a problem with harmless greetings besides having no purpose beyond a general acknowledgement of someone's presence. Surely though it doesn't need to be reinforced every god damn five minutes.
Generally she transfers calls via the phone until for no apparent reason she will decides to yell out across the office "It's for you".
Reading back these don't seem that bad which is quite sad in a way. It may mean that I'm just not open to new things, that I'm not sensitive to others needs or even I'm.......

God damn it she is doing it again - don't tell the phone you are going to pick it up, pick up the fucking thing.